Wednesday, April 18, 2012

[A Beer a Day] Samuel Adams Noble Pils | Boston Brewing Company | Boston, MA

Happy fucking congratulations, Mr. Adams.  A 0.032% batting average earns you the cleanup duty for the Pirates AAA.
Hold on to your monocles, Apple elitists, Instagram reviews are not just for the nerdcore anymore!  Droid users, with our electroclash life-subtext, Camel Crushes, and smarmy Midwestern micros -- as opposed to your nu-rave, Camel Wides, and Midwest macros -- are about to abuse the SHIIIIT out of Amaro, Rise, Hudson, Sierra, X-Pro, Lo-Fi, Earlybird, Sutro, Toaster, Brannan, Inkwell, Walden, Hefe, Valencia, Nashville, 1977, and Kelvin.

But the reality is, we're not that different from each other at all, yer know.  We are like a broad spectrum of the Boston Beer Company's 31 Flavors, each of us unique in our own way, and probably too full of ourselves to notice that we're all just pretty average.

There are but a few amongst us who are true standouts -- The Noble Pils of fanboys, if you will.

Samuel Adams is like the country music of beer: evidently, its a very popular selection, but not a single person I know actually drinks it.

But Noble Pils changes the genre for me.  Noble Pils is the dubstep of the Sam Adams lineup: pressing my buttons like a bro in a mouse head, expounding a WTF? of the mind.

Noble Pils is uniquely (I guess, since no one else seems to be bragging about it) made with all 5 of the noble hop varietals of the brewing game: Hallertau Mittelfrueh, Tettnang Tettnanger, Spalt Spalter, Saaz, and Hersbrucker (spoiler alert!) -- and placed into a 12oz vessel, because any more than that could cause some serious side effects lasting longer than four hours.  Its a fantastically hopped beer that is not bullied by bitterness, but restrained with an equilibrious grain to hop ratio that is just super-great on a spring day.  It literally (ok, figuratively) tastes like the sun and a baseball had an orgy bender with The Cape and Bickham Script font.  It is by and far, the most confident beer that BBC makes, and I fucking love the shit.

Sadly, BBC replaced Noble Pils as their Spring seasonal with Alpine Spring, a beer so poorly named, it sounds like Tim Tebow's ejaculate.

However, the good news is -- its a regular on the rotation now -- which knowing BBC will completely dilute the product like the 'droid/Facebook machine will to the once virginal Instagram app -- which is just more bad news after all.  Sorry.

So, drink while the gettin's still merry, you hipster fuckwads.

ABV: 4.9%
Acquired: Hyde Park Market

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