[A Beer a Day] Drink'in the Mitten: A Beercation

Hello, I'm so glad you haven't forgotten about us here at The [An Avenue] Corp. while we were out traipsing about Central and Northern Michigan, embracing some of the most elegant beers in the world with our booze-holes night after night, lighting fires in the wolf infested woods, and visiting something so incredibly alien, they named it The U.P.

Its a fucked up world in Michigan, so many paradoxical foci -- the most forlorn billionaires, the most fucked up highway topography for a state built to sustain the automobile, corn beer enthusiasts.  No one has even heard of Sufjan Stevens.  No one.  And I'm still not sure if any Michigander knows if a wolverine is a real animal or not, despite, you know, that small state school and the state's nickname over all.  Oof to fuckin death, amirite? 

So, it has become somewhat of a tradition for my wife and I to plod all over the forest-pocked state every summer in a foreign rental and set up camp in the wilderness with a trunk of meat and beer.  And then get gorged on both while discussing the ways to fix this puzzling state of affairs.

Its a fine ritual -- most especially so because there is a very demonstrative moratorium on the rationing of Michigan beer during camping, which is something that we I strictly enforce here in Texas during the long stretches from visit-to-visit at Christmastime and Summers.  Its a goddam free-for-all at the party stores, markets, and bottle shops, as we horde singles of this-one and that-one to cover us for the wood-fire-lit nights ahead of us, talking shit and eventually passing out somewhere indoors or out.

Also, we manage to find ways to drink beers on the beach.  Bottles of beer.  Then I send hate-filled messaged to Canadia by launching my empty Two Hearted IPA into Lake Michigan with a note to manger un sac de bites.  Its so paradoxically awesome.

Clockwise from left:  North Peak Brewing Siren Amber Ale, Founder's Brewing Cerise Cherry Ale, Frankenmuth Brewing Frankensampler, Bell's Brewing Oberon Wheat Ale, Jolly Pumpkin Artisan Ales (w/ Maui Brewing) Sobrehuman 'Palena Ole Sour Brown Ale, Arbor Brewing Michael Faricy Chocolate Stout, North Peak Brewing Pumpkin IPA, Bell's Brewing Two Hearted IPA

It is pretty exhilarating coming face-to-face with great innovation at every corner of the state, at every pause, draining it at every Paper Birch, and then doing it all over again.

While one could certainly make the analogy that California Brewing is the 1992 Dream Team, Michigan Brewing is the 2012 version of USA basketball; all-day tinkerers, dunkers, and long-range acuitists, who could certainly give the O.G. All-Stars a nice run.  Cali may have more depth coming off the bench, but Michigan has a starting backcourt of Founder's, Bell's, and Jolly Pumpkin, with Short's and New Holland providing valuable workhorse minutes in the paint.

Clockwise from left: Bell's Brewing Amber Ale, The homebound stash of midwest brews, Short's Brewing Kolsch 45, Tahquamenon Falls Brewing Falls Tannen Amber, The Secret Menu at One Eyed Betty's, Harvieston Brewing Special Reserve 16 Year Whiskey Barrel Aged Ale (and not even listed on 1EB's Secret Menu), Bell's Brewing Best Brown Ale, Sampler at Short's Brewing

I think that I was much more mature when i was younger, and probably, so was my wife, which makes us much more enjoyable and fun to be around in our advanced youth because we like to make tits of ourselves when we're pished.  This is why I love going to Michigan so much.  Concentrated alcohol and easy targets. This is the state of affairs in wolverine wolf country.

Michigan is an easy going, cheerful, loafing, and slightly confused state, but I can't say that I don't just absolutely love visiting.  She's a charmer, she provides.  What can ya say, she's a mate.

[A Beer a Day] Alt-eration | Hops & Grain Brewing | Austin, TX

This blog isn't about news, or specific promotion of breweries, or rambling about being at the most cutting of edges in regards to the small craft beer movement in The States.  Well, only just a little.

No, its really just a thinly built façade manifested as a forum which allows me drink until my liver pickles over, all in the name of research, of course.  And so this, lads and ladies and other Avenuelings, will be the final essay on this blog for at least ten days due to very extensive field research in our country's Beer Belt.  Say Yes! To Michigan!

As a pittance to my fellows-in-beer up in Beardsville, and the suburbs of Euchreopolis and South Canadia, I elected to bring with me a message from the Austinites who have looked the rest of the Beards squarely in the face and said, 'Challenge accepted.' 

Two breweries in particular are forcing the rest of the Brewniverse to recognize the state of Texas and the city of Austin, especially, as the young beastmasters, for they were born with the courage of eagles, the strength of black tigers, and the power of  gods!!

Hide yo' kids, hide yo wives ... and veil any other precious kinfolk in whispered prayer, because these locals are getting real rapey with the awards, ribbons, and absurdly large trophies once predestined for the Giants of Microbrewing.  And, speaking purely on my behalf, I would like to put Michigan on blast first -- as the following beers will be crossing the border from Texas into the Murder Mitten:

Austin Beerworks Fire Eagle IPA
Austin Beerworks Pearl Snap Pils
Hops & Grain Pale Dog Pale Ale

... and ...

If ever a beer perfectly encapsulated the state of the local Austin beer scene -- and provides its consumers with a handy, transportable vessel -- it would be Hops & Grain Alt-eration.  (Pearl Snap as well, but this particular article is dry-humping on Alt-eration at the moment).

Let me use this analogy to explain the prodigy that is Hops & Grain Brewing.  My wife, God bless her sweet heart, loads the dishwasher like a goddam maniac.  There is really no control over her tyrannic reign of scatterbrainery all over the dish landscape.  I'm actually really impressed with her commitment to fuck it up so badly; bowls where wine glasses go, wooden spoons that inhibit the upper spinning arm, small plates in back of large ones, and other sorts of arrant shit.  Its a whip trying to follow up on dish duty behind her this artwork, like a skeleton crew trying to make sense of Edmund Fitzgerald.

In my opinion, this is how Hops & Grain made their indention on the local Austin brew scene -- piecing together, re-evaluating, and reconstructing the dallying momentum that was plateauing in this city; doing something simple, but doing it very well (again, this is also where Austin Beerworks comes in as another example, but they'll just have to wait for their hand job at a later date).

Hops & Grain were putting the wine glasses in the correct spot for bulbous glassware, the plates in the right slots, let it all rinse correctly through a full cycle.  It really was perfect vision for their future and the future of the local craft scene -- kinda like the way I map out exactly how I'm going to load my WHOLE fucking machine before I even eat a weeks worth of meals.  Its so simple that its actually kind-of hard.

Alt-eration is one of the two flagship beers of Hops & Grain, and in my opinion, is perfect in matrimony with its partner, Pale Dog.  One feeds the kids and the other, well, cleans the dishes.  Alt-eration also already has the hardware to back up its local acclaim -- taking the Gold Medal at the 2012 World Beer Cup for the style of Dusseldorf Altbiers.  This is a beer that Hops & Grain opened its doors with, and six months later, they were standing on a podium in front of their peers, looking shocked that they'd won a marathon just by purchasing new sneakers. This is what you get see when you dream about the future. 

So, what is this beer, anyway?  The altbier is Dusseldorf's answer to their Rhine-rival Cologne's Kolsch beer (though different in style entirely -- like Longhorns and Aggies being from the same state, but, you know, one exists because of the other.  And also, one is kinda strange).  Its is a generally crisp, but malty brown beer that is bold in color, and light in body.  This particular version is very, VERY handsomely constructed with a medium-to-light body, roasted, nutty, malty, and caramel-y, but also clean on the palate.  It finishes abruptly, making it very appropriate for hot-weather drinking, but also is complex enough to swim around your articulators like tiny spelunkers looking for taste receptors.  Its really a fantastic balance of bold and subtle, the way beer makers try to deftly balance hops and malts. 

Also, if you ever get the opportunity -- and please do -- try the (Maker's Mark) bourbon-barrel-aged version of the Alt-eration.  Jesus fuck.

Indeed, Hops & Grain wins at beer.  If you don't like it, you must be a pretty dismal sort of  fucker.

Say Yes! To Texas!

ABV: 5.1%
Acquired: HEB
★★★★★★★★★★

[A Beer a Day] Gonzo Imperial Porter | Flying Dog Brewing | Frederick, MD

The outcry for RAAAAIIIN in these parts is definitely palatable, and I certainly do understand the populus' enduring desire to break out the high ABV imperials from the vault once again as a sort of free-day from chamblies, fruit beers, and pale ales.  Only rain can free us from this bind, the way it did unexpectedly last Spring when it rained for a record two days straight.

Well here we are, Avenuelings, RAAAAIIIN!  Out come the imperials like the goddam Galactic Empire lead by the Sith Porters wielding 10% sabres.  (And here I was doing so well with my mission to cleanse the IPA shelf in the special fridge.  It is God's work, to be sure -- a beer crusader.)  But when the temperature is cleanly divisible by 78, we have to move on to the back of the rack for the boys doing hard time. 

---

There is a reason that I swear a lot on this site, and mostly it is because the world reduces me to fucking tears half the time.  The other half is because beer moves me to tears in an equal and opposite trajectory.  Sometimes there is no better expression than, 'Fuck, this is some good shit'.  No really, it applies to any situation, anywhere, anytime.  It is one of the highest compliment one can receive, because, lets be honest, there is a ceiling threshold for compliments when you abandon the will to curse.  There just is.  And besides, they are just fucking words.  This is beer I'm talking about here.  Get the fuck over it.

So, this review can be reduced to one efficient sentence: Fuck, this is some good shit.  I swear to fuck.  Okay, that was two sentences, but I felt there needed to be a denouement.

Its the kind of beer that instantly makes me happy without having to think too much about it.

The smell!  The fucking smell is like Tuscan chocolate said fuck this world and leaped to his delicious demise in a concentrated vat of brandy, espresso, and soft caramel.  Tastes like it too, this fucking thing.  I'm genuinely excited writing about this beer at this very moment.

I'm ending this review early, because frankly, I'm gonna go grab one before the sprinkles melt on my acid-hot pavement.  Its just like November in my mind.

ABV: 9.2%
Acquired: Twin Liquors
★★★★★★★★☆☆

[A Beer a Day] Saison | Funkwerks | Ft. Collins, CO

A couple of weeks ago, I was sitting on the side patio of The Draught House in a slightly uncomfortable sweat waiting to meet the first fan-of-the-blog who would agree to meet me in person. 

Well, okay, so this wasn't really a meet-and-greet from anyone who reads this garbage, but I did have a buddy fly in all the way from Ft. Collins for the explicit purpose of bringing me generous quantities of Coloradan potations for the sole purpose of drunken wankery in this 103° inferno.  We also planned deep analysis of shit we know nothing about, like the brewing process and yeast strains -- but one of us sports a scraggly outline of a beard and one of us lives in The Centennial State by way of The Golden State, so we figured those were good enough combined credentials to act like professional beer media for purposes of scribbling in this shitty blog.  So take that, Perez Hilton!

Anyway, so I am sitting there in my usual spot waiting for my dude, trying to look busy or important on my phone -- the way someone tries to do when visually convincing his make-believe audience in the bar that, yes, he's in the band, so I won't be alone here much longer, just waiting on my mates, yer know, so no need for sympathetic interrogation or seat poaching, thank-you very much -- when from the very precariously placed Dart Hazard Door of The Draught House burst Dean and his wife Tanya with a box of bootleg and secrets for smiles.

I could see right away these two were about to put on a great show, and I was concerned that a fair bit of fuck should be given on my end of things.  Dean presents me with a sweet Funkwerks tulip that he wants me to drink out of like Belgo-American royalty.  I concede and shortly after we're arcing our vessels towards our faces in greedy thirst, for this is what the fuck was in that mystery box of his...

...and the mind fucking boggled!

The Belgians have been brewing saisons since God was a boy, so in that time, it is assumed that they had mastered the nuance of making a beer that would be brewed in the spring to last until fall in the era of pre-refrigeration and Black Death.  One would also assume that, given the allotted head start, The Belgians would have imparted characteristics into the beer that would be so clever and deft, that anything brewed in homage to this style in the modern era would simply be a clone of an already-perfected recipe.

However, I think that it is the Americans who have adopted this beer style and illustrated the ways in which a saison could be brewed delicately, complexly, organically, perfectly -- much in the same vein of the India Pale Ale, which we ratified from the English.  Saisons and Audrey Hepburn may be Belgian by birth, but their success and perfection is derived from American appreciation.

Funkwerks jumped into the farmhouse beer enterprise only two years ago, but based on the contents of this bottle -- shared in communal fashion the way God and the Wallonians intended -- they are as skilled as a lefty specialist, picking the spots on your palate to buzz with a cunning slurve.  This is a twenty strikeout beer.

It is very obvious that the flagship beer of Funkwerks is brimming with pride.  It is very well-executed, satisfying, and thoughtful -- rich and cozy.  The exposition of this saison is that of a brightly-steeped lemon and ginger tea.  Then, there is crisp pear and citric acids exposing shrewd carbination that boils on your tongue like cauldron spill.  Over-ripened guava, alfalfa hay, pepper and cloves impart before finishing with biscuity malt notes.  This beer was kicking some serious ass.

Then, Dean cracked another bottle from his box, hidden from pint-glass-flunkies and the formerly sympathetic chair imperialists.  This shit was just about to start getting real.  It did.  True story.

ABV: 6.8%
Acquired: Dean and Tanya! Thanks!
★★★★★★★★★★

[A Beer a Day] Brux Wild Ale | Russian River Brewing / Sierra Nevada Brewing | Santa Rose, CA / Chico, CA

As an adjunct to my lastest post that was, well, mostly about the misnomer of 'American' adjunct beer, I'm expanding on the discussion by talking about two decidedly-domestic breweries who are often referred to in sentences with characterizations like 'the most innovative ...', 'the most important ...', and 'the most well-respected ...'.

If you are into drinking anything beyond lake beer, then you have probably tried something that Sierra Nevada has brewed; most likely their iconic Pale Ale.  This beer is one of the platinum-standards for craft enthusiasts who cut their teeth on its toasty, piney goodness early on in their potable devotion to inebriant outliers.  When Sierra Nevada went national, it welcomed the country to what the Belgians, the Germans, and the English had been exposed to for centuries: master marksmanship of ales and lagers that reflect the regional characteristics of the land.  In this case, the bright, floral, hoppy notes of the west coast.  It allowed people in Detroit or Kansas City or any other meteorologically-unfortunate city to experience what its like to drink a handmade beer in permanent 80° weather.

Sierra Nevada Pale Ale was -- and continues to be -- a very important gateway intoxicant for those interested in expanding their palates.  

While Sierra Nevada was emulating Bruce Springsteen: cocksure pioneer of Americana folksiness, Russian River was bringing the Axl Rose swagger to the main stage.  Though hotly debated, Russian River is mostly credited with inventing the Double IPA and exposing barrel-aged wild ales and sours to the palates of second-generation beer nerds.  In fact, wild ale and sour beers have basically become synonymous with the Russian River Brewery.

The way Russian River works with Brettanomyces is both science and art.  Inoculating yeast strains into the aging process is destined to continually develop the beer so that the flavors alter and diversify over time.  I hesitate to use words like "evolve" or "progress" to describe the process -- as that would insinuate that the beer is not enjoyable at its earliest incarnation.  However, because of the development of the noble yeast in bottle-conditioned beers, sampling it at one month vs. one year would change its flavor profile almost entirely, making the beer theoretically more complex and rounded at the latter stage, and more bright and rigid if uncorked straight away.  This is what the festivity regarding cellaring and aging beer is all about -- and not necessarily hording 750mL bombers in order win Facebook.  Although it's that too.

Together, with classic and innovative flavors and styles, Sierra Nevada and Russian River were putting craft beer squarely on the culinary scene -- dinner table real estate became available at fair market value where wine and custom cocktails had squatted since the dawn of dinner parties.

So, when the two decided to come together to combine their collective ingenuity, creativity, and clout you get one hell of buffet at the head table in Jesus Camp.  The hype surrounding such a collaboration of powerhouses make others in the brewing caste stop and wonder just what in the fuck have they done here?  When Sierra Nevada and/or Russian River preach, others stop to listen.

I'm inclined to disclose an important fact about this sampling, and that is that my wife and I sampled it only three hours after purchase -- not exactly a geologic period in aging -- but shit, when you see Russian River branded merchandise at your local booze outlet, its hard to do the extended time in lockup.

Also, I only purchased one bottle of Brux at $15 because I was after some other targets that night, and frankly, shit starts to add up -- particularly when gambling on liking the stuff before even trying it.

So, after all that long-winded diatribe above about aging and developing the yeasts, yadda yadda, I went head first into this bottle for an early swim without waiting for my food to digest.  Fuck it.  I couldn't just gaze rapturously at this thing for any longer than it took to chill down to 45°.

But there was joy in [An Avenue]-land that night!

The first impression was that Brux was quite obviously the calligraphy of Russian River.  The use of its prevalent and temperamental ingredient, brett, was clearly the masterwork of skilled and experienced brewers.  This is the same kind of sensory acknowledgement as when Boulevard does a bourbon barrel aged Smokestack Series or Founder's does an Imperial Stout.  This is what Russian River does, and it is what they do best.  

Reciprocally, it was also very apparent that Sierra Nevada's horticulture-inspired craftwork was helping to drive the bus as well.  Brux tasted like organic apples and fresh lemon fallen into the grassy hedgerow.  This was half beer, half orchard.  Tart and cidery.  As crisp and clean as Born to Run.  I was finding it rather enjoyable.

Right now, Brux is a collection of songs -- great songs, absolutely -- but not quite a whole album.  The flavors are too distinct from one another and can use some more time in the studio.

But aging Brux for half-a-year is going to make this beer into OK fucking Computer.    


ABV: 8.3%
Acquired: Spec's
★★★★★★★★☆☆ (in 2012)