Pretty ambitious, amirite?
I'll probably talk about what everyone else talks about: mundane shit with an outside shot of accidental wit, which personally revolves around the subjects of beer, lad rock, and how much Tim Tebow resembles a choad.
Single fucks you should give: 0
But you should read this anyway since this weblog has sat dormant since I created it FIVE years ago in Copper Star Coffee Shop, then was mightily distracted by a strawberry cream cheese cupcake -- back before cupcakes were contemporary desserts baked only for the Proletariat. Now, cupcakes are only handed out to the bourgeoisie hanging out below bridges with Pitbull and his Diet Dr Pepper crew.